LEARNED :)

Can we learn to be optimistic?

Psychologist Martin Seligman says yes!  We have the ability to deal with adversity by growing our resilience.

According to Seligman, we see the world through 3 perspectives:

Personalization

Pervasiveness

Permanence

Through a negative lens:

Personalization puts the onus on ourselves.  The bad that we experience is directly related to us, always.  It ignores the presence of outside factors.

Pervasiveness assumes that bad happens to all areas of our lives, rather than just the area that it is affecting us at the time.

Permanence is the thought that all bad things will last forever.  

Through a positive lens:

Personalization gives us perspective that there are outside factors that can affect us in different ways.  It is not always our intentions or actions that lead to a negative response.

Pervasiveness can show us that specific areas of our lives can go through negative times, but as a whole, we are capable of accomplishing anything we want.

Permanece can give us the perspective that while we might be going through a rough patch, it won’t last forever.

Let’s go through an example of how we can change our way of thinking to help us learn to be optimistic.

A relatable example for most would be going through a break-up with a significant other.

Through the 3 P’s, this is how you can change your perspective:

Personalization

Negative: Something is wrong with me.  I am not a good enough person.

Positive: We weren’t a good match.  There wasn’t a mutual connection. 

Pervasiveness

Negative:  I’ve also failed as a friend.

Positive:  This is just my personal life.  I am succeeding in other areas of my life.

Permanence

Negative:  This always happens to me.  I’ll never find anyone.

Positive:  I will find someone when the time is right!

If you feel yourself going down this negative path, the first step is realizing that it is happening.  Change your mindset.  Change your inner voice.  Change your perspective of the situation to it specifically.  It’s not always going to work.  We are going to have bad days.  Maybe this will lessen the duration of the negative, and help you bounce back to make things a positive!

A positive perceiver.  Another way to define a Daring Optimist.

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MS